Shattered Expectations
by SoraGirl
Summary: An atbg, taking place after the new movie. please R & R :D Darren's POV


Disclaimer: I don't own this show or it's characters. Period. 

!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!IMPORTANT, READ BEFORE CONTINUING!~!~!~!~!~!~! 

Well, the reason I had for posting this fic was that I have in fact, totally missed the new ATBG movie because I've been at camp. :`( The only material I had for this story was the commercials for it and stuff from message boards so it may be a bit off. The story idea itself was actually meant for a different show entirely but I'm using it for ATBG so I can put out this plea: Does ANYONE know ANYWHERE I can download the movie or at least the next time it will play on Nick? :`( Any help would be greatly appreciated, just leave a review with the info!!! :D Anyway, it's a little OOC because of all that and since I haven't seen the movie I'm not sure if the facts are right. Oh yeah, be careful though, full fledged 110% fluffy fluffiness ahead :) 

_ Shattered Expectations _

     I think there's something wrong with me, no, I don't think, I know. I got 
on a train and went into the mountains to find the solution. You were supposed to be the solution… but you're the problem. 

    It was eating me up inside, you being so far away. No matter what in the world I did I couldn't stop thinking about you. I thought you'd make it all better…but you only made it worse.

    It's _so_ much worse now and I'm counting the seconds till your back. What was I thinking anyway? Going out there to profess my "undying love" for you? What was it suppose to accomplish? I guess I didn't think it through; I just had to stop feeling what I was feeling. Telling you was supposed to end whatever it was I was feeling… but it only made them grow.

    Maybe it was for certainty. Maybe I went out there to be sure I wasn't crazy. To find out if it was real and right or fake and wrong. It was suppose to make me feel secure about all this…. but I've never been so afraid.

    Before I couldn't stop thinking about you but now I can't even think. All there is is you. Every movement, every word, every action, are overshadowed by you. My entire world is based on you.

    That kiss. That kiss was an amazing mistake. The feeling it left is both horrible and wonderful. It leaves me longing to be with you so badly that it hurts. I want this feeling to go away, I wish it had never happened….but I wouldn't give it up for the world.

    I've been thinking about what'll happen when you get home. Sometimes I imagine you rushing towards me, flinging your arms around me, and kissing me like you've missed me as much as I've missed you. Other times I imagine you've forgotten about me completely and look at me and don't know who I am or that you do remember me but have found someone new….It's very rare that I think realistically about it. When I do, I see you coming off the train and looking at me nervously. I see an awkwardness between us that was never there before. That awkwardness is what scares me most of all.

    That awkwardness and this feeling. A feeling based too greatly on fear and nerves. There's just so much to lose with you Ging. Every second is spent dreading the point when you stop caring about me, that you move on and I'm stuck here, or that we break up and I lose the most important friendship I've ever had because I had to be stupid like this and fall in love with you….and yet…I'm scared too, to think that things will stay like they were and nothing will happen between us. I'm scared that our first kiss will be our last.

    This feeling makes every move so important. It's like..I can't mess up this chance because it might be the only chance I have with you. Whenever I'm away from you this feeling drives me crazy. I can't think straight or at all; I can only hope for when I'll see you again. When I'm with you this feeling drives me crazy. I can't think straight or at all; I can only dread when you'll go away again. This feeling never goes away.

    This feeling magnifies _ your _ feelings through me. You're angry; I'm furious. You're happy; I'm overjoyed. You're a bit down; I'm devastated. 

    But as horrific as this feeling my sound (and believe me.. it is) it's also just as incredible. It's a feeling that's bubbly and intense and exciting. It's adrenaline and hope and anticipation. It's just this shocking wonderful for a reason you can't explain.

    You're coming home today. I haven't found my solution and I'm not sure I want to. I haven't got it all figured out right now and I don't know if you do either. But…I think you should know…the one thing about all this that I'm sure about…is this feeling. 

It's love, Ging, it's love. 

Is that how you spell Ging or is it Ginge? :\ Anyway, hope you liked it, or could tolerate it. :D 

Much love to you all ^_^ 

"Have you hugged an author today? Write a review and make one's day" :) 


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